Happy New Year dear ones!
Thank you Mother Nature for the lovely snow day!
Well here we are the ‘fantabulous’ year 2013, a clean slate, a blank page, opportunity for limitless possibilities! What are we waiting for!
So, I got to thinking about this whole resolution thing and I know the statistics aren’t great when it comes to people actually succeeding at the goals that they set. I know this from what I’ve read but also from personal experience. But I also have been reflecting on all the phenomenal changes I have made in my life particularly in the last couple years since I have been purely doing my private practice. I set my mind to expanding my business and have been blessed beyond words. I have set goals and succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. I have committed to, and have been blessed every day with helping others choose wellness! And I love this journey…
But lets step back for a moment…Now right before new year’s my body decided to start up a conversation of its own so to speak…
One night I was minding my own business (’cause that’s the only business I should be minding) watching Modern Family which I must say is one of the most hilarious shows I have ever watched, and I got this ‘weird’ feeling in the middle of my chest. I was thinking it might be growing pains 🙂 because of all the holiday food I was enjoying. I mentioned it to my partner (in case I collapsed and the paramedics wanted to know what happened – see always a planner) and then just brushed it off as nothing. About 1.5 hours later when I was still feeling this ‘weird’ feeling (kinda pain-like) I thought it wise to call tele-care. After explaining my situation and the fact that my brother had had a heart attack when he was around my age – the lovely nurse on the phone advised me that she was going to send an ambulance to my house to get me to the hospital! I was a wee bit taken aback and told her that I lived very close to the hospital and would make my way over there. Now – of course she advised against it but I assured her that I would be on my way.
So off I go to the hospital and of course when I arrive, the ‘weird’ feeling stops kinda like when you bring the noisy car to the mechanic – (why does that happen?!)
Of course at the mention of a ‘weird’ feeling in my chest I got a complete workup for my now labelled ‘heart event’. ECG, heart monitor, x-rays, blood work, lovely male nurses who chatted with me, and very efficient docs…Thankfully all was fine but they did suggest I could stay in for monitoring all weekend or they could refer me to a rapid assessment program. I assured them that I would follow-up with my wonderful physician! I told my doctor who started a referral for a stress test.
Fast forward one week ahead. I’m shovelling snow at one of our first heavy snowfalls and feeling fine and strong.
Within the hour I have throbbing in my left shoulder. I’m thinking muscular – hold my breath and it still hurts despite no movement (at the time felt like a good test to see if it was muscular?) but not thinking much else. My lovely partner, who NEVER catastrophizes I might add, says – ‘do you think its related to your heart???’
So now I am back to wondering what may be happening and I do what we tell every patient not to do – I start googling strained shoulder vs heart attack and up pop a million (maybe a slight exaggeration) stories of women who thought they had strained their shoulder but actually were having heart attacks! Crap! I called some friends and consulted, called to check out wait times at the various hospitals, called my doc who suggested I get to a hospital and I eventually make my way to our local urgent health care centre. Blah, blah, blah… my heart is fine and I’m not having a heart attack-it is most likely muscular (so much for my test) I need to get a stress test and away I go…
Now here we are at the actual point of the story (finally – I know)…
During all this I was a wee bit scared, I was a wee bit concerned, I was a wee bit thrown for a loop…
Coming into January I knew I was going to be probably the busiest I had been in years – my business is great, I have a ton of wonderful projects on the go but I was a bit worried about how I was going to do it all and make sure that I followed through with all my commitments, not disappoint anyone, step up to the plate so to speak! It kinda hit me when I started to worry about where in my busy schedule I might have time for a stress test – how is that for irony!
Both times, as I was laying on the stretcher having all the tests done – I was going over all my commitments in my head thinking about what I could maybe give up… and they all felt giant…and they all felt heavy and I felt I could not say no ’cause really – who would do it if not me?!
And while I was laying there it suddenly occurred to me…I knew what my new year’s commitment had to be!
And at that point I decided – i choose wellness!
I know – shocking! All this time, all these months, all these years and I had gotten back to a place where I had slipped in taking care of me. I had gotten so excited and involved with all these wonderful opportunities that I forgot to do the exact thing I talked to others about everyday.
And it took – me laying on a hospital stretcher – with this ‘weird’ feeling in my chest to remember that, if I’m going to be there for you, I first need to be there for me.
So I started with calling a dear colleague who said she would gladly take over one of my projects – I could feel tears come to my eyes and actually felt my chest open up…and then I asked that a talk be moved to a later date and the organizer was more than accommodating. I did that within 2 days of deciding ‘i choose wellness’. I called a trainer who I know comes to people’s homes, I reconnected with my nutritionist, I got my butt back to the cushion (meditating) in a more consistent manner and my partner and I sat down and made some goals that we can work on together. I decided to ‘choose wellness’ (my intention), to set up ways to remind myself (help me pay attention) and to most importantly to try to do this with the attitude of Delight!
I know I am a bit ADD and so I also need reminders- so I went a got myself a touchstone to keep looking at and to help me remind myself of the commitment that I made to me…so that I can look out for you…go figure…
by the way…other than needing to lose a bit of weight…I rocked the stress test!
Choose Wellness 